A story of incest (not really) — the sequel
Of all the things I thought would get a sequel, me accidentally propositioning my sister was not on the list.
If you don’t recall, once upon a time, in my working-at-a-newspaper days, I was trying to find out information about a story that I thought my sister might know about, only she wouldn’t (or couldn’t?) tell me. So I said “Come on, you can be my Deep Throat.”
Now, if you’re familiar with the main characters of the Watergate investigation, you know that Deep Throat is the nickname for W. Mark Felt, who fed information to Woodward and Bernstein. If you, like my sister, are not familiar with the ins and outs of that particular story, then you are likely instead only familiar with “Deep Throat” as a name for … a form of X-rated activity that you one does not typically engage in with one’s sister.
That was a long time ago! How could it happen again!
But everything gets rebooted.
Earlier today, my sister was texting me about three things — some money she owes me, an upcoming family reunion and a dispute she’s having. I mentioned to her that I got the PayPal money, that I hope things get worked out in the dispute, and that I was looking forward to the trip.
(Sidebar: Everyone in attendance at this reunion will be vaccinated. Don’t yell at me.)
Okay, so:
· Thanks for the money!
· Hope the dispute ends!
· Yay, we’re going on a little trip!
In response, my sister sends me a word, and an emoji.
So here’s where I should mention that my sister is not the most online person in the world. In fact, if not for the existence of our mother, she might well be the worst. In our family group text, my brother will often send memes that reference super-niche online things, which always leads to confusion. (My brother flatly refuses to learn the lesson to, you know, stop sending things they obviously wouldn’t understand, but I digress.)
Anyone who has spent more than 0 seconds online is familiar with the meaning of the eggplant emoji, but … well, the only meaning of that emoji that I’m aware of (other than “here’s an actual eggplant”) involves a reference to the male anatomy and a particular usage of that anatomy that … well, brother/sister, inappropriate, you get it.
How did this happen again?!
After a handful of confusing and uncomfortable back-and-forths, we got to the confusion. My sister was aware of the body part indicated by the emoji. She was less aware that it tends to refer to that body part in only the happy-good-times sense, and not the sense that she meant it … “This guy is a dick.”
We got there. We figured it out. It wasn’t about an upcoming trip and what might happen on that trip. It was about a jerk gentleman causing my sister angst. It made sense.
Somehow, though, it happened again.